ceva nu rimeaza

ok, sint oficial in galeata. o fi primavara, oboseala adunata sau raceala asta crunta care m-a apucat. cel mai probabil o combinatie. o sa ies de acolo, problema e ce fac cu cei din jurul meu? mama vede ca abia stau in picioare si tot ce gaseste sa spuna e ca: "vezi daca nu asculti, faci dus si pelci afara, e sanatatea ta, eu ti-am spus..." sotul pe partea cealalta: "te-a mincat in ... sa te duci la servici, puteai sa stai sa te odihnesti... ". o prietena: "ti-am spus eu sa lasi copiii sa plinga, eu asa fac, nu ma trezesc toata noaptea pt ei... sint dependenti de tine... nu e bine..."

ce aveti frate cu mine? de ce simt ca in loc sa ma ajute sa ies din starea proasta, apropiatii mei nu fac altceva decit sa imi dea cite una in cap sa stau acolo. plus ca ma fac sa ma simt chiar mai rau, imi amplifica sentimentele de vinovatie ca fiind "down" nu ma pot ocupa de copii si familie. de ex: duminica, eu in pat, copiii urlau jos dupa mami. mama si sotul vin sa ma intrebe: "ce le dam la fete sa manince?" Gooooodddd!! descurcati-va frate. daca ceva mai grav se intimpla cu mine, ce faceti?

de ce unii oameni nu au un pic de grija cu ce le iese din gura? daca nu ai nimic bun/pozitiv de zis, mai bine taci. asta se intimpla din greu si pe forum, multi dau cu bita in balta fara sa gindeasca. de ex: copii mei au 3 ani si nu fac la oala (I know, I am a bad mother). cer si eu sfaturi cum sa procedez mai bine, avind in vedere ca s-a ajuns aici. nu conteaza motivele. vine mamica X si scrie: "eu l-am pus pe oala la 7 luni, asa e bine, are un an si face la WC", mamica Y: "daca nu l-a pus de mic pe oala/WC acum e foarte greu". DUH!!! cum ajuta sfaturile de mai sus?

sorry ca m-am lungit. am simtit nevoia sa ma descarc. sper ca nu sint singura care gindeste asa. daca sint, chiar ca imi iau cimpii.

nuschu spune:

Lorelai, nu esti singura care simte asa si nici singura care are in jur persoane ce sunt mereu cu jumatate de pas inainte cu intuitia fata de celalat :P. Mama mea e una dintre ele. Cand iau o hotarare, cand fac o alegere, mama se gaseste sa intrebe 'da' de ce nu faci altfel?'

Mama prietenului meu e si mai si :). Stie aproape totul pe lume, deci iti dai seama.

Se cheama lipsa de empatie si de acceptare a diferentei. Nu pricep ca oamenii au prioritati diferite, ca greselile nu inseamna neaparat ceva negativ, ci pot fi - uneori - si sursa de invataminte.
Uneori, o pot face si din prea multa grija sau atentie pentru tine. Insa, dand prea multa atentie faptului ca nu te simti bine fizic, uita ca, in aceeasi masura, ar trebui sa se ingrijeasca si de psihicul tau.

Uneori, in loc sa tip 'lasa-ma-n pace!!', tac si tac si tac. Incerc sa ignor pe deplin ce nu-mi place.

rrox3 spune:

In primul rand esti o mama foarte buna! Si ei stiu asta, doar d-aia nu misca nimic in front cu fetele fara sa te intrebe. Incearca sa discuti cu ei, calm si frumos, si sa le explici ce iti fac, fiindca - iti garantez - nici prin cap nu le trece! Iti spun din proprie experienta.
Daca vrei sa schimbam info pe tema rezistentei fetelor la trainig-ul cu olita, spune-mi. Am aceeasi problema cu Ioana si am descoperit motivul, desi nu am rezolvat inca problema
In privinta raspunsurilor pe forum: intelege-le, simt nevoia sa se incurajeze singure ca-s mame bune si pricepute. Nu mai pune la suflet.
Trebuie sa fug acum, d-asta am scris telegrafic.
Multi pupici!

Roxana, Mariuca (n. 1 iulie 1999) si Ioana (n. 23 martie 2005)

poze cu noi

ellej spune:

La unii e o chestie de varsta (mai inaintata), la altii de fire. Asa e si tata, ma scoate din minti de multe ori. Cand ma plang ca s-a varsat un pahar de vin rosu pe covor si s-a murdairt intreaba "dar cine l-a varsat?" Ce drac de importanta are? Tata mare de pe lumea cealalta! Eu, varu' Costica sau nenea Gigel!! Problema mea e cum sa curat covorul.

Alt exemplu: a invatzat copilu' un cuvant urat (ma rog, mai multe, dar era vorba de unul anume). La care tata "oare cine l-a invatat sa zica...?" odata, de doua de noua ori pana m-am enervat si i-am zis ca daca suspecteaza pe cineva anume sa zica clar, daca nu sa-l incerce sa-l dezvete sau macar sa taca!

Nah, m-am descarcat si eu. Din pacate sugestii de contracarare a susnumitelor n-am

Si Dieu nous a faits a son image, nous le lui avons bien rendu.
If God created us in His image we have certainly returned the compliment.

Donia spune:

Lorelai, am invatat din experienta proprie, dar si din teorie, ca uneori trebuie sa spui lucurilor pe nume. Ca mesajele tale, oricat de evidente si de clare iti par tie, sunt receptionate in fel si chip de catre cei din jur.
Nu pot sa zic ca acum sunt 100% functionala , dar am avut o perioada in care am atins fundul butoiului, cu reactii la care nu ma asteptam, nu ma mai recunosteam pe mine, anxietate, depresie, iritabilitate, lipsa de resurse, oboseala psihica... rau de tot!
Aveam impresia ca orice actiune de a mea e un strigat de ajutor... dar culmea, nu ma auzea nimeni! Asa ca am stat cu sotul meu si i-am spus ca sunt mai rau decat par, ca am nevoie de tot ajutorul pe care poate sa mi-l dea. I-am vorbit de toate reactiile care ma speriau chiar si pe mine, i-am spus ca am nevoie de el foarte puternic pentru o perioada, i-am spus tot. Si m-a auzit! Dar a trebuit sa-i spun toate lucrurile astea. Ar fi fost minunat sa imi ofere tot acest ajutor fara ca eu sa i-l cer, caci nu mi-a fost usor sa ma deschis asa in fata lui, dar dupa ce am discutat serios cu el, viata mea a devenit mult mai usoara. M-a lasat sa fiu eu insami fara sa fac eforturi pentru a parea super-femeie si super-mama, mi-a dat timp sa imi incarc bateriile, efectiv lua copiii cu el si pleca de acasa... m-a lasat sa zac diminetile... am avut libertatea de a fi eu insami, slaba, obosita, nervoasa. Si toate astea m-au ajutat sa revin pe linia de plutire.
De aia stiu ca trebuie sa le vorbesti celor din jur, mamei si sotului, sau numai unuia dintre ei. Si stiu ca nici asta nu e usor, unii oameni nu cer ajutor cu usurinta, sunt obisnuiti sa aiba totul sub control si e greu sa spuna "gata, nu mai pot". Dar daca simti ca nu mai poti, daca ai recunoscut asta, spune-le-o si lor, cred ca vei avea parte de mai mult sprijin.

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Copiii se nasc perfecti - rolul parintelui e sa nu strice ceea ce Dumnezeu sau natura a creat.

Schneewitchn spune:

Lorelai,

Eu as proceda in felul urmator: as sta de vorba cu sotul si mama si le-as spune direct ca trec printr-o perioada mai dificila (sau stressanta, sau cum vrei tu sa-i spui)si ca ai nevoie de ajutorul lor. Ajutor care nu inseamna reprosuri la o situatie deja trecuta ptr.ca tot nu se mai poate schimba nimic, ci cooperare si actiuni adecvate. Apreciezi faptul ca sunt langa tine dar fara sfaturi si reprosuri - decat atunci cand le cauti tu (sfaturile, bineinteles). Roaga-i sa se controleze. In ceea ce priveste asa-zisa "prietena" eu una nu consider prieten un om care imi spune ce sa fac, citez din ce-ai scris "ti-am spus eu sa-i lasi sa planga", un prieten adevarat ar spune "eu i-as mai lasa sa planga din cand in cand", nu ar fi asa de 'bossy' sau cum sa ma exprim mai clar...

Poate te ajuta felul meu de a proceda cand sint KO: le spun alor mei ca sint 'kaput' si ca azi dupa-amiaza (de ex) "aveti program de voie" adica "you're on your own", sa ma lase de la ora x la y in pace sa-mi re-incarc bateriile. Daca sint nervoasa si cu capsa pusa, tot nu le sint de mare ajutor. Asa ca e bine ptr toti. totul e sa fii clara si sa te faci auzita. Parerea mea e ca daca vin sa-ti ceara sfatul in anumite probleme e ca nu vor sa te supere facand altfel decat vrei tu.

succes si pupici

lorelaim spune:

Lorelai - cred ca sunt f multe mamici care trec prin starea de oboseala prin care treci tu acum (cand organismul e obo si raceala se "lipeste" mai usor). Da ai nevoi de ajutorul plin de dragoste si intzelegere a celor apropiatzi si musai tre' sa vorbesti atat cu sotzul cat si cu mama ta. Ii iei pe fiecare de-o parte si le spui frumos prin ce treci. Le spui CLAR cum doresti ei sa se poarte cu tine in asemenea situatzii. CLAR, scurt si la obiect (ca la copilul mic) - si o sa vezi ca te vor intzelege.
Eu am norocul de un sotz extraordinar de intzelegator, iubitor si cald - dar chiar si el a avut nevoie de "directive" clare atunci cand eu eram "la pamant" sau "explodam". M-a ajutat si ma ajuta enorm faptul ca el ma intzelege si nu ma critica si nu ma cicaleste (Gabisor de fapt ne spunea "mama" la amandoi pe cand avea un an :-) deoarce el este un fel de "papa-poule"=tati-closca si sincer ma poate inlocui cu succes in orice in casa :-)).
Eu cand am realizat ca sunt la "capatul franghiei" mi-am facut un control sa fiu sigura ca nu-i ceva medical la mijloc si cand totul a iesit OK atunci am inceput sa iau vitamine si minerale (chiar daca nu astept bb iau Materna - pt ca sunt f complete) si sincer starea mea s-a imbunatatzit extraordinar dupa primele 2 sapt.
Sa nu uitam ca iarna aceasta a fost lunga, grea si obositoare (si inca mai ninge pe-alocuri - aici avem lapovitza si ninsoare chiar acum cand itzi scriu), ca totusi ceea ce se numeste "astenie de primavara" exista... si in plus surmenajul de-acasa, de la servici, etc.
Itzi doresc multa sanatate si putere sa potzi vorbi cu sotzul si mama ta si sa trecetzi cu bine de asemenea momente!


Lorelai

http://community.webshots.com/user/UndevaCandva

"Daca dragoste nu e... nimic nu e..."

lorelaim spune:

Easy and Natural Ways to Raise Low Serotonin Levels
By: Mary Ann Copson

Research indicates that in the United States 60-80% of the people, especially women, have low serotonin levels. You don’t have to get caught in the low serotonin cycle of hopelessness and despair. You can alter your low serotonin levels by carefully orchestrating your foods, activities and daily routines and habits.

You alter your brain chemistry, manipulate your neurochemical profile and affect your body’s physiology every day by what you do and don’t eat, what you think about, and how and where you spend your time. Through your daily behaviors and the environments in which you spend your time, you create your biochemical profile and this is reflected in the emotions, energy, thoughts, actions, and psychological states that either bring you into peak performance or that block your best functioning.

You have an enormous power to shape your inner world – your experience of life. What you do every day, what you eat, when you eat it, what activities you engage in and when you engage in them, what kind of environment in which you live and work – everything you do and do not do – shapes how you feel, think and how you experience your life.

You can create the range of emotions, energy levels and intellectual and creative functioning that you want. You can learn how to use what you do and do not do everyday and how you do it to create inner strength, hope, joy, mental alertness, and enthusiasm. By designing a life that keeps your biochemistry in balance you can maintain a state of optimal wellness, vitality and performance. When you understand the optimal physiological requirements of your body operating at its best, you can design your lifestyle to provide the diet, exercise, behaviors, thoughts, scheduling, and environment to support and nourish this optimal state of functioning in your body.

1. Serotonin levels are increased by a carbohydrate rich diet.

When you eat carbohydrates it results in a rise in insulin levels that ushers the amino acid tryptophan into the brain. Tryptophan is the precursor to serotonin. One and a half ounces of carbohydrate food (1/4 cup of oatmeal or a piece of sourdough bread) will significantly boost brain levels of serotonin. The healthiest carbohydrates to use are whole grain, low glycemic index carbohydrates such as barley, oats, buckwheat and carbohydrate rich vegetables such as yams, sweet potatoes and squashes. Fruits and most other vegetables have a neutral effect on brain chemistry.

2. Eat the kinds of protein that favor serotonin production.

These proteins are high in the amino acid tryptophan: chicken, white flakey fish, lean cuts of pork, veal, cottage cheese, lamb, low fat cheeses, low fat milk and dairy products, soy and legumes.

3. All meditative activities raise serotonin levels.

Spend time in a natural places such as a forest, park, mountains, or seashore.

Prayer, meditation, positive visualization boost serotonin levels and your feelings of well being, relaxed concentration and peace.

Engage in low arousal, highly meditative and internal spiritual practices that relax you.

Try relaxing activities such as hobbies or crafts.

4. Engage in exercise that increases your heart rate somewhat but not too significantly.

Strolling, yoga, non-aerobic swimming, bike riding when done at least 4 days in a row a week will over a period of 60 days increase your baseline serotonin levels.

5. Have a regular wake sleep cycle.

The production of serotonin for the next day requires at least 7 continuous hours of sound high quality sleep the night before.

6. Get out in the sun at least 30 minutes in the morning and for 2 hours throughout the day.

Sunlight burns off melatonin produced the night before. The presence of high levels of melatonin consumes serotonin. Sunlight suppressed the production of melatonin and allows your serotonin levels to rise during the day. Without the exposure to adequate natural light your melatonin levels will be higher and your serotonin levels will be lower.

7. Eat a meal with high level of proteins that contain tryptophan and follow that by a carbohydrate snack about two hours later.

This will act to drive the lingering tryptophan into the brain and set up the production of greater amounts of serotonin the next day.

8. Do things that revitalize you and make you feel good.

Take a low activity, high relaxation vacation with your family or by yourself with plenty of time to slow down.

Listen to classical music, light rock, folk or easy listening music.

Visit a museum, go to the theater, the symphony, or watch TV or films about love stories, comedies and other feel good movies.

Engage in long, deep conversations with one or two other people.

Clean and organize your environment.

Read: Self-help books are especially complimentary.

Copyright (c) 2007 Mary Ann Copson


Lorelai

http://community.webshots.com/user/UndevaCandva

"Daca dragoste nu e... nimic nu e..."

lorelaim spune:

The incidence of depression has been growing at a phenomenal rate but the positive factor here is that people no longer fell stigmatized by acknowledging that they have a problem. The awareness has set in and once this hurdle is crossed, treating depression is possible.

The effects of depression can be traumatizing and the individual suffering from it feels emotionally, physically and even spiritually assaulted. It is an illness and one that has to be treated before it becomes too late.

When we talk of remedies for depression, you would like to deal with natural remedies and the purpose of this exercise is just to do that.

Depression can be caused by many factors both genetic and biological. Individuals may have a genetic makeup that makes them prone to depression or stressful events like the loss of a close one could also be a cause. In addition it is believed that it is also caused by biological factors. We have what are called neurotransmitters in your brains, which are responsible for sense of well being that we feel. Serotonin and other chemicals like dopamine, acetylcholine, norepinephrine largely act as an anti depressants and tranquilizers. Depletion in the levels of these neurotransmitters could lead to depression.

Anti depressants essentially enhance neuro transmission simultaneously increasing the levels of the neuro transmitters especially serotonin..

St.John’s wort extract is a herb which is highly rated as a natural anti depressant. In fact in ancient Greece, this plant was used as a tonic for the nerves. The elements present in this herb help to increase the levels of the important neuro transmitters and it has been found to be very effective in countering mild depression. In fact it helps individuals to sleep more soundly and improves memory. It has proved to be very significant in countering depression which is an offset of SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder).This usually occurs during the months when there is a decrease in the amount of available sunlight(during winter). In conjunction with light therapy what it does is to increase the level of melatonin which is produced in the body thus helping to regulate the sleep wake cycle.

Amino acid therapy is fast finding patrons. These basic building blocks of which proteins are made actually function as neurotransmitters. Tryptophan is one such neurotransmitter which relieves depression but the best part about tryptophan is that it is found naturally in foods that we normally eat. Whole grain cereals, vegetables, fruits and low fat dairy products are all natural sources of tryptophan. Tofu (high in tryptophan), most Soy products, sesame seeds, walnuts, peas, pumpkin seeds are some common sources of this wonder neurotransmitter. When eaten in combination with carbohydrates, the amount of tryptophan taken in is increased. Tryptophan is converted into serotonin (the feel good chemical) and this in turn to melatonin (which is required for good sleep).

Kava is another natural remedy for depression and it has been used for hundreds of years by people living in the islands of the south pacific region. It is often referred to as “ the calming plant” and brings along with a feeling of well-being and contentment. Of course overuse of this herb can cause a rash to break out.

Gingko biloba is another herb, which contributes to mental health. It is essentially an anti oxidant and is very popular to combat depression.

For a long time, depression and nutritional imbalances have gone hand in hand. A deficiency in certain vitamins or minerals could inhibit the production of the neurochemicals ---the good feel chemicals.

B vitamins have always been in the news and Vitamin B6 is known to have assist enzymes to convert amino acids to serotonin and norepinephrine –the good mood chemicals. So a deficiency of Vitamin B12 or folic acid can cause depression.

It has also been found that a deficiency in Magnesium can lead to nonspecific low mood levels. The point to be noted here is that improvement in the levels of serotonin can be set right by eating the right natural foods which contain the above elements. This in combination with other forms of therapy can alleviate depression.

In fact ingestion of Vitamin C has been known to catalyze reactions, which lead to the production of serotonin.

The traditional medicine of India -Ayurveda advocates yoga, massage and meditation, which increase “prana”or the energy of life. A concoction of Ashwagandha and Brahmi powder steeped in water for 10 minutes and drunk twice or thrice a day is said to cure depression. Another natural remedy for depression, which is widely advocated, is drinking a “kasahayam” or tea made from the (Indian basil) tulsi and sage. Massaging the body and head with herbal oil and then having a hot water bath does wonders for the body and mind. These have been practiced from time immemorial in India and are very popular forms of treatment. In fact there are actually parlors which offer you this kind of massage.

Yoga exercises helps in the increase of circulation of oxygen in the system, helps the mind to relax, stretches the muscles and helps to restore the neurochemicals. Deep breathing exercises or “pranayama” help the body and mind to relax. By focusing on calm and peaceful things, the mind tends to counter the negative energy, which is present. Listening to music, playing your favorite songs, doing the things you like-- all help to nullify depression. Going out with friends, visiting, going to places you like - in short doing things that break away from the routine and mundane can help to alleviate depression.

If it is possible try and discuss your problem with a friend or a good counselor. When things are verbally expressed, the intensity of negative force is drastically reduced and they may come up with certain ideas, which helps you to deal with depression. Writing down your actual thoughts and feelings also helps because by doing so, you are able to give vent to whatever is troubling you. This does relieve you to a great extent.

Diversify your activities. This gives the brain the necessary impetus to focus on anything but the problem causing depression.

Aromatherapy has gained popularity of late because of its ability to help the body to relax and revive the nervous system. Inhalation of some herbal oils like rose, jasmine, lime, and grapefruit is a natural remedy for depression. Acupuncture is said to be a great mood enhancer. Eight –10 weeks of acupuncture treatment culminates in mood elevation, which is very similar to the elevation got by the use of anti depressants. Last but not least, prayer is said to have the power to heal. Religious practices and religious beliefs could help the person to cope with depression.

All these natural remedies for depression may be sufficient by themselves if depression is not very severe.

~ M. Hemdev..



Lorelai

http://community.webshots.com/user/UndevaCandva

"Daca dragoste nu e... nimic nu e..."

lorelaim spune:

Sa nu uit sa precizez - in art anterior e mentzionata o planta: St John's wort = Hypericum perforatum = SUNATOAREA

un art despre sunatoare si depresie:

"Sunatoarea, cel mai puternic antidepresiv natural articol publicat in evenimentul.ro la: 26-03-2008

Depresia este o stare patologica grava, care se manifesta prin deprimare accentuata, tristete, descurajare profunda si pesimism cronic, toate asociate cu neliniste si scaderea tonusului general de rezistenta a organismului. Depresia este cea mai raspindita boala psihica pe plan mondial, ocupind locul doi in ierarhia tuturor afectiunilor maladive, dupa hipertensiunea arteriala.

Experiente indelungate au depistat numeroase preparate antidepresive naturale, intre care cea mai mare eficienta a dovedit-o sunatoarea sau pojarnita – Hypericum perforatum. Recomandata inca din secolul al XVI-lea de catre chimistul Paracelsus contra fricii, a tristetii si a viselor urite, sunatoarea este benefica in refacerea echilibrului hormonal si a sistemului nervos. Se consuma cite 2-3 ceaiuri pe zi, inainte de mesele principale, dintre care unul inainte de culcare. Ceaiul poate fi inlocuit cu tinctura de sunatoare (cite 4-10 picaturi, de 5 ori pe zi), intr-o cura de lunga durata sau cu ulei de sunatoare (cite 1 lingurita, de 2-3 ori pe zi).

Cercetari recente au aratat ca sunatoarea contine o doza ridicata de hiperforina, o substanta care blocheaza acei receptori din creier care declanseaza starile depresive. Prin aceasta, sunatoarea este benefica in tratarea depresiilor simptomatice si reactive, in depresiile nevrotice si in distonia neurovegetativa. S-a constatat ca actiunea antidepresiva a sunatoarei nu se instaleaza decit dupa 2-3 saptamini de la inceperea administrarii. Ca urmare a efectului fotosensibilizant al hipericinei (un principiu activ din sunatoare), se impun masuri de precautie, in care pacientul va evita expunerea la razele solare intense pe toata durata tratamentului.

Specialistii terapeuti au elaborat diverse retete complexe care, pe linga sunatoare, includ si alte specii vegetale: paducel, cimbrisor, menta, izma padurilor, valeriana, roinita. Mai sint eficiente uleiurile eterice luate separat sau in amestecuri din lavanda, busuioc, salvie, trandafir, iasomie, ghimbir si maghiran, maceratul din miere de albine cu fructe de catina alba, polen si propolis, cura cu fructe de obligeana si catina, cura cu suc proaspat de telina, spanac si orz verde.

Prof.univ.dr. Constantin I. Milica"

Lorelai

http://community.webshots.com/user/UndevaCandva

"Daca dragoste nu e... nimic nu e..."

Annie80 spune:

quote:

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Originally posted by lorelaim

Sa nu uit sa precizez - in art anterior e mentzionata o planta: St John's wort = Hypericum perforatum = SUNATOAREA
"Daca dragoste nu e... nimic nu e..."

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Sarumana...pt enlightening...eu avusesem o faza depresiva si docorul mia dat antidepresive din hypericum...si nu stiamca e sunatoare. Si excelent articolulu.

va invit la un eai de sunatoare!

La subiect: asa mi se intampla si a mine...ma imbolnavesc odata la 5 ani, si nici atunci nu pot capata pituina atentie si o vorba buna, sau macar sa fiu lasata in pace in pat sa bolesc in legea mea.

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Someone's pleasure is another's pain!
Alergic at stupidity.