"Daca te bate da-i si tu una"
Raspunsuri - Pagina 18
sinzi_ana spune:
Si inca ceva...chiar nu inteleg de ce ai cautat prin arhive, si ce ti se pare in postul ala???
Ca sunt de acord cu violenta??? Ca eu mi-am invatat copilul sa riposteze?? Ca sunt de acord cu ce a facut???
De unde stii ca nu l-am pedepsit???
chiar nu inteleg ce ai vrut sa demonstrezi...poate imi explici...
It is not giving children more that spoils them; it is giving them more to avoid confrontation
Sinzi, Radu si David
bomba pisaloaga
: varsta, poze, D-ale lui David
filofteia spune:
Iar nu ma pot abtine... nu stiu ce am azi!
Sinzi_ana iti spun eu unde a vazut problema... pentru ca m-am simtit umilita ca nu traiesc si eu intr-o societate perfecta ca cea prezentata de tine in paginile anterioare...ca sa constat ca si acolo sunt oamenii oameni... poate tinuti mai mult in frau de sanctiuni, dar si cand refuleaza!!!
ocebine spune:
quote:
Originally posted by filofteia
Iar nu ma pot abtine... nu stiu ce am azi!
Sinzi_ana iti spun eu unde a vazut problema... pentru ca m-am simtit umilita ca nu traiesc si eu intr-o societate perfecta ca cea prezentata de tine in paginile anterioare...ca sa constat ca si acolo sunt oamenii oameni... poate tinuti mai mult in frau de sanctiuni, dar si cand refuleaza!!!
Pai sa ne fie cu iertare dar asta cu umilitul este o problema la tine. Eu vad acest forum ca un schimb de experienta intre mamici din 4 zari, si daca o mamica are ceva interesant de spus, o solutie buna sau o idee care imi trezeste interes, nu ma socot mai proasta/umilita/inculta ci ciulesc urechile si invat. Dar asta e meteahna veche (pina si Iliescu a aplicat-o cu succes la milioane de romani). Si nu imi pasa daca mamica este din Romania, USA, Japonia sau alte locuri.
Daca le stiam pe toate, nu mai deschideam o carte si nu mai aruncam un ochi pe vreo revista de specialitate, nu mai butonam internetul.
Anamaria
"After all is said & done, more is said than done."
sinzi_ana spune:
Filofteia, eu nu am comparat niciodata nici o tara cu Romania sau invers (desi am locuit cativa ani si in UK)...
Doar incerc sa spun ca noi adulti suntem responsabili pt comportamentul copiiilor nostrii si ca eu nu agrez violenta de nici un fel...
Tinatache, am gasit sub cu gradi cu pricina:http://forum.desprecopii.com/forum/topic.asp?ARCHIVE=true&TOPIC_ID=78192&whichpage=1
Eu am spus de la bun inceput ca am sa caut o scoala cat mai buna pt copilul meu, un cartier cat mai bun..
It is not giving children more that spoils them; it is giving them more to avoid confrontation
Sinzi, Radu si David bomba pisaloaga : varsta, poze, D-ale lui David
speed spune:
quote:
Originally posted by ocebinequote:
Originally posted by filofteia
Iar nu ma pot abtine... nu stiu ce am azi!
Sinzi_ana iti spun eu unde a vazut problema... pentru ca m-am simtit umilita ca nu traiesc si eu intr-o societate perfecta ca cea prezentata de tine in paginile anterioare...ca sa constat ca si acolo sunt oamenii oameni... poate tinuti mai mult in frau de sanctiuni, dar si cand refuleaza!!!
Pai sa ne fie cu iertare dar asta cu umilitul este o problema la tine. Eu vad acest forum ca un schimb de experienta intre mamici din 4 zari, si daca o mamica are ceva interesant de spus, o solutie buna sau o idee care imi trezeste interes, nu ma socot mai proasta/umilita/inculta ci ciulesc urechile si invat. Dar asta e meteahna veche (pina si Iliescu a aplicat-o cu succes la milioane de romani). Si nu imi pasa daca mamica este din Romania, USA, Japonia sau alte locuri.Daca le stiam pe toate, nu mai deschideam o carte si nu mai aruncam un ochi pe vreo revista de specialitate, nu mai butonam internetul.
Anamaria
"After all is said & done, more is said than done."
uite asta ma dispera pina la lacrimi si pe mine.nu poti sa spui cum e in strainatate ca imediat iti sare cineva in cap ca n-ai mincat salam cu soia (desi si acum mi se strepezesc dintii cind ma gindesc la salamu respectiv),sau lasa-ma in durerea mea ca tu nu stii cum e in Ro.pai cum d-zeu sa nu stiu daca am trait acolo atitia amar de ani? si daca nu mi-ar fi draga romania sau romanii n-as mai sta de povesti pe forumuri romanesti,ci doar pe cele locale.si tocmai fiindca stiu ca se poate si mai bine imi doresc sa fie asa si in romania.si ma mai "enerveaza" cumplit irlandezii care desi au luat startul de pe aceeasi pozitie (sau chiar mai jos) cu romanii,le-a facut undeva ceva "click" si au stiut ce sa preia din experienta altor tari si ce sa ingroape.si desi au si ei micile lor ranchiune-de exemplu ii enerveaza accentul american,il dispretuiesc pe Bush,sau ii considera pe americani plictisitori-intotdeauna vor trece peste amanunte si vor prelua ce e bun din societatea americana -sau a altei tari.intru destul de des pe un forum cu mamici irlandeze,si ,la fel ca si pe forumul asta,sunt o multime de mamici irlandeze ce au emigrat in toate colturile lumii.si care mereu vin cu sugestii ,impartasesc din experienta lor sau chiar critica unele aspecte din societatea irlandeza.si daca nu ma credeti pe cuvint,va dau link-ul catre forumul respectiv-niciodata nu s-a trezit vreo mamica irlandeza bastinasa sa vina cu comentarii de genul:vezi-ti de treaba ta ca tu n-ai mincat sobolani pe timpul foametei,sau ce te intereseaza ca tu oricum nu traiesti aici,sau nu ti-e rusine sa-ti renegi tara si sa proslavesti alta civilizatie.dimpotriva, reactia e urmatoarea:serios? in america se face asa si pe dincolo? pai atunci haideti sa facem asa si aici.serios? in franta se plateste mai putin pentru gradinita? pai haideti fetelor sa facem reclamatii,haideti sa bombardam guvernantii cu proteste sa facem la fel si aici.serios? infrastructura din germania nu se compara cu autostrada noastra cirpacita? pai ce-am putea face sa fie asa si aici?serios? in suedia (de exemplu) sunt mai multe facilitati pentru copii? pai noi de ce nu am putea? etc etc etc.
si in concluzie nu au decit de cistigat din experienta altora,si au o atitudine constructiva,pe cind noi vom continua sa pierdem ,din pacate....
ocebine spune:
Speed...asa e...ai pus degetul pe rana. Ideea este sa preluam ceva bun si sa lasam raul in urma. Atit.
Anamaria
"After all is said & done, more is said than done."
cristina_t spune:
daca tot s-au scris atatea pagini, hai sa mai torn si eu vreo 20 de mesaje de pe o lista de discutii dedicata nistagmusului (o afectiune a ochilor): situatie concreta, raspunsuri/rezolvari concrete, tara - U.S. , limba engleza - ma scuzati, dar este foooarte mult de tradus.
Daca nu este potrivit, rog sa fie sters.
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Hello All,
I have made a decision. My son (soon to be 11) is being taunted by 2 boys at school that also ride his bus. They are saying hurtful things about his eyes and head bobbling. The boy hit him in the back during library time, and was threatning to punch him in the eye, and even made fun of his shoes. Gage just tells them to stop or shut up... but of course, it doesn't stop. So,, I made the decision to tell him first thing tomorrow morning when he gets on the bus, set his bookbag down, walk back to the boy, and lay into him.... not to stop until the busdriver pulls him off. He is not a "fighting" kid, but damn, how much should a child go through before they stand up for themselves??? I am hoping it will take the kid and all the other kids by surprise, and they will know that Gage is not going to put up with it anymore. Last yeara kid was bullying him, we went to the principal, and gage was made fun of worse for having his "mommy" fight for him. I feel like this is the only way
to get them off his back so the kids will respect him. I worry if I am wrong to do this, but he also can't let people bully him, If he is letting someone bully him, then other kids see it, and it makes him an easy target. I am hoping that when he jumps on this kid, the other kids will think twice before they make fun of him or anybody else. ........sigh.......I have been sick all night, stomach, crying, It is hard to watch my sweet loving boy go through the torture and I can't make it stop. He has to. He doesn't deserve to be put in a situation like this , but I think it is the best option. He may get suspended for a couple of days, but he show himself he has courage and confidence and that it is his choice to be bullied or not. I never thought it would be this heartbreaking.
Stephanie
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RE: *Nys: have to stop the bully.
My husband firmly believes in this. He was the tall, scrawny, poor kid
growing up, always picked on. One day he started making it known that if you
wanted to fight him, he'd fight back...didn't matter who you were or how big
you were. He lost many fights, but gained a lot of "schoolyard respect."
He's now 6'5, 250 lbs, spent 10 years in the Marine Corps, and now wrestles
inmates for a living (Corrections Officer).
If he were my son, I think I would tell him to defend himself, even if it
meant throwing blows. I don't know that I would suggest he instigate it. But
either way should work.
How does he feel about it?
Jackie
*******************************
Re: have to stop the bully.
Stefanie, you are right. Let your son learn to fight for himself. I know it
will be difficult for him, especially when he his not a fighter. But I can tell
you he just můst learn this.
I am an adult with nystagmus - 61 years old - and I still have to "fight"
sometimes, because even old people can say hurtful things to us.
All the best to your son!!!
Regards, Henny in The Netherlands
*******************************
Re: *Nys: Re: have to stop the bully.
Since the school isn't handling it, fighting back may get the needed results.
At age 11 he can 'get away with it' with probably no worse consequences than a
few bruises and a suspension. I highly recommend against this route for older
kids, as the suspension and bad conduct will go on his record, impact his
chances for college or jobs, and could land him in juvenile detention. Legally
schools are required to provide a safe learning environment. Bullying should
not be allowed. There are many programs and resources now to educate schools
and students to change the culture that not only allows but promotes bullying.
(Bully Free Schools) I know parents who have given taken legal action against
schools, the bullys and their parents. That got the school's attention.
good luck,
brenda
********************************
Hi Stephanie, This story is too familiar to me. They same thing happened to
my son, you are right, I would go to the school & he would beg me NOT to, cause
they did nothing & he got made fun of more.
Dale was a strong boy, but so sweet & didn't want to hit back. I always said"
If someone pushes you, you push back". He was afraid of getting into trouble.
I told him he would never be in trouble with me!
A boy needs to stand up for himself, or he will be the punching bag for the
others. I cried too for my baby, they have it hard enough without the kids
going against them. But let me tell you, when they realize he will not take it,
they will back off. Our school has zero tolerence now for bullying
and the school will take action against the child. Things have gotten better.
Good luck.
D
*******************************
Stephanie, be careful with this situation.
We have always told our kids to never start a fight, and to try to walk away
from someone who wants to fight; try to get a teacher's attention, etc.,
BUT...When backed into a corner, let them throw the first punch, then come
out swinging and stomp their butt. Unfortunately when one of my sons was
11, he did finally have enough of a bully. He pushed him and the kid fell
backwards and cut his head. Next thing we know, I am getting a call at work
that my kid is in police custody at the school, and a citation was going to
be permanently placed on his record. He would be expelled for three days;
then we and our son would have to attend a court session where it would be
decided whether or not he needed to go to alterative school for a while.
My son is not a trouble maker, but we went to the court session, two times,
as the other kid didn't show the first time. The judge was our lawyer and
knew us, but could not be partial. My son was eventually exonerated,
although the citation will be on his record permanently. Our lawyer told
him and us, and I quote: "A person no longer has the "right" to "fight
back"; it is unfortunately the sad state of our system nowadays." I could
not believe it, and asked him if a person was just supposed to sit back and
let someone else kill them. I told him I would never tell my kids to not
fight for survival.
I know your pain as a mom, and I also spent my years being the one who was
bullied, but just be careful. Your son is in my prayers.
Jan in TX
***********************************
Well,
as I am writing this, I am bawling my eyes out. Gage was all pumped up ready to do it, he prayed last night for God to give him the courage. He got on the bus and.....sat down. I went straight to the school and Gage and I went into a room, and he cried and said he just can't do it, Then he started saying" why mom, why did I have to be born like this. If there is nothing wrong with me then why do they make fun of me? I just want to go home, please." So of course I started crying . The guidence councelor came in, when we told her, she started crying. They said they arn't going to let this happen. They are calling the children's parents and they will be diciplined..........
The principal just called me. She talked to the parents who seemed shocked to hear how their children are treating other kids. The boy asked for them to bring Gage to apologize. He apologized to Gage and as a punishment, he has to carry Gage's books, take his lunch tray when Gage is finished, and research and write a report on nystagmus(my suggestion). In addition to whatever punishment if any at home. I hope this helps, Gage is so forgiving.... I wish I could be like him. He is my hero.
*************************************
Hey, Stephanie? Hey, Gage!
This is Tisha Holladay, way down in southeastern Oklahoma - and when you two
say your prayers tonight? I hope you will thank God that Gage is in a school
where taunting and meaness is NOT tolerated!
I'm a girl - grew up with the Big N - and, did, indeed, suffer my share of
taunting! My parents taught me to kill them with kindness - but it's different
for little boys! (Maybe the testosterone!)
Anyway, maybe Gage can now make a friend of his former enemy! Maybe, as it
happened for me, being kind and saying, "Thank you," when the other kid helps
Gage will give Gage the chance to teach a little about his disease!
I came home and cried too about being teased - unmercifully - because I
couldn't see. And my adopted Dad wanted me to fight! Problem was I never could
see the fist coming when headed for my eyes, nose or mouth! Gage might have that
problem too!
I'm dripping tears in my keyboard for you both! I wish the world were a
kinder, gentler place. I don't want Gage to physically fight! I want him to
outsmart them! (He probably makes better grades!) The bullies quit bugging me when
I started tutoring them for free and helped them improve their grades. I
also learned to have a whole bunch of replies ready to send back to those who
just wouldn't seem to learn and help me!
Don't know where you are - but your school is great - and you guys are in my
heart and in our prayers!
Peace, joy and hope,
tisha
**********************
**********************
Hello everyone,
I really want to thank everyone for their responses and kind words. I was so tore up for the last 2 days. Probably more so than Gage. He of course has bounced right back. He told me yesterday that when he was waiting at the end of the driveway for the bus, he was ready to fight, then as soon as he walked on the bus he started thinking about violence on the bus that turns in to a riot like he has seen on T.V. I think in this case, he made the decision that worked best for him. Which, I think took alot of guts since his step-dad and I were telling him to fight. I of course do not want him fighting, but I do want to know that he is ready to stand up for himself if need be. I worry that he just doesn't have the confidence to do it. I had him in Tai Kwon Do for a year, he was good at it, but he really didn't like to go. It was more of a chore for him. A local gym is supposed to be getting a boxing instructor soon, I will sign him up as soon as I can.I am also starting him in
guitar lessons for his birthday in September. I have tried to explain to him that people who bully are not happy with theirselves. That they pick at other people as a way to make themselves feel better. I also try to make sure he knows that everyone's journey in life is different, and the differences between people are part of their journey and meant to teach different people different things.
To answer some of your questions, this year he was put in a class where all of his friends from last year are in a different class, so I do think he feels lonely. I have already talked to the principal about switching classes, she vetoed it. This year I have been working on him being more social( If he had it his way, he would be on his grandma's hip everyday!). If he makes a 100% on his conduct card each week, he can ask someone at school to ride the bus home with him one day. I am also having him go to a kids class at a church on Wednesday nights.
I have asked his vision teacher to do a presentation with Gage in his class. They can tell the class about his condition, what it means to him, why he used the victor vibe and Dana, let kids ask questions, and focus on Gage's abilities and strengths, such as his typing, computer skills etc.. I have also asked his regular teacher to have the kids work in small groups and have them pick a disability to research and report about.
As a parent, I want to protect my child. I feel like because of his condition, he has alot of gifts that he may not have had otherwise. It just is heartwrenching to see my child get his feelings hurt so badly for something he can't control, and kids can be so very cruel. I am pleased with the way this worked out, but I worry what about the next kid that picks, and the next. I guess all I can do is deal with it as it comes.
Again, thanks to all of you, Your advice in priceless and I appreciate your concern.
Stephanie
**************************
little late to the conversation, but here's my two
cents. I'm a high school teacher and a wrestling
coach. I'm supposed to say that your son should tell
the bus driver or his teacher or principal and let the
adults solve it.
We all know how that's going to end. Instead, I'm
going to tell you what I'll tell my own kids. Don't
start the fight, but you better end it.
I had the same sort of abuse at about the same age on
a school bus, although not for any physical handicap.
One day, I got hit in the back of the head a few too
many times, jumped over two bus seats and just laid
into the kid until I was pulled off of him. I bit him,
scratched him, spit on him, growled like a dog, you
name it.
He never touched me again. I had to live with a
reputation that I was crazy, but it beat getting
picked on on the bus every day. I got suspended off
the bus for a few days, and my dad took time off work
to drive me to and from school. Mom was furious. Let's
just say Dad wasn't.
I pray my son with nystagmus never has to do that. But
he will start wrestling this winter in our county's
youth league just in case, and he already has a year
of karate. And I'll tell him this:
Don't you dare start the fight, but you better end it.
By any means necessary. At least until he gets to high
school, where discipline records are sent to colleges
when requested. Then, it's time to let the adults in
on things, since charges can be pressed at that age.
One more thing - Ask your county if they have video
cameras on their buses. And if they don't, ask why.
And if they do, make them go over the tape the next
day when your son has been harrased. Make the request
in writing. If you bring up the possibility of suing
for negligence by the school system because they have
refused to deal with the situation on the bus, things
might happen a lot quicker and decisively.
Bill in MD
*************************************
RE: *Nys: Re: sod-L have to stop the bully.
I love the punishments. Parents are not always aware how their kids act
in school. It sounds that there are some normal parents in the world.
I know this will eventually happen to my Zack too and I dread it. He is
about to start first grade but the children are too young to bully.
Good luck Gage!
Suzi-- Zack's Nana outside of Chicago
****************************************
Re: *Nys: have to stop the bully.
oK, first off, know you are probably going to get "slammed" on here, because
fighting is not politically incorrect...
BUT, IF IT WERE MY SON...I would tell him the same thing...letting him
constantly be the target, will only add to other people picking on him. His
self esteem could be damaged for life. My husband was the poor kid and his mom
would not let him take up for himself in anyway-he was to "walk away". He still
at 33 has low self esteen when it comes to meeting new people, and he is 6 feet
tall, weights 280 and has his doctorate in Chemistry and still hates to talk
about his school days.
I say yeah for your son, only don't lay down the back back...swing it!!!
There is only so much one kid can take and the teachers and the bus drivers
can not be there to protect them all the time....tell Gage I hope he gets the
respect he wants and that the torture if over!
karen
**********************************************
RE: *Nys: have to stop the bully.
Here here.we have always told our son if someone hits you we give you
permission to swing back. Same for teasing.you can say something not so
nice back or hit them.
This has been our experience.
We gave our son clever things to say back to bullies
Even if he hit some one and did not "win" the fight, the kids never
continues to tease/fight because it was easier to find a new target who
did not fight back
Our neighbor has a child with no impairments and very passive, he was
constantly taunted. Once he pushed them back and told them to get the
heck out of his face they never bothered him again.
Another child was being bullied on the bus and other kids in the
neighborhood ended up stepping in and defending him. So there are good
kids out there too!
Lots of time things start out as a one time thing, but when kids see
that it is easy to continue they tend to push the limits.
I think that most of the time kids are bored and can do stupid things
with out thinking. Yes there are a few "bad kids" but I believe that
most of the kids are just trying to figure out who they are.
By the way, all this went away one they hit high school. We had one
incident in 2nd grade and one incident in 7th grade but have not had any
since. Actually, we have had a rash off stupid and inconsiderate
teachers say more inappropriate things than kids.
****************************************
RE: *Nys: have to stop the bully.
Steven was bullied by one of the teachers kids so when he went to his teacher
she just could not believe that he would do such a thing. So I went down and
told her very nicely that if she stayed in her room more and did her job then
she may see it. I was getting phone calls from other parents. Steven was not
saying any thing about being bullied. Well one day he had had enough. He kicked
this kid in the stomach and knocked him in to a mud puddle. Steven then went in
and told the teacher what he did the teacher said to him "well if u had done
this wouldn;'t he be in here telling on u."
Well guess what this kid never said a word to the teacher even though he was
covered in mud. When Steven got home he was in tears. He wanted to be home
schooled and he wanted to go to the kid and apologise. He said that he hated the
way that it made him feel to kick that kid. He wanted to apologise no for
kicking him but for the fact he could have hurt him. U see this kid had only
gotten off his cast on his arm the week before. My Steven kept saying mom what
if he had fallen and rebroke his arm.
Talk bout a big hearted kid. Any way we went up and visited with the mom and
she was furious with the teacher and with her son. This kid said did u mean to
kick me and knock me down and STeven said yes actually i was aiming for ur head.
The mom looked at her kid and said well guess it is good thing steven's foot was
not any longer. We never had another problem from then on. And we have not had
any more bullieing problems. Like his dad told him if u will strike back at a
bully they don't know what to do. They are used to being the one in control. And
the rest of the people will leave u alone.
Shannon
**************************************
Re: have to stop the bully.
Karen,
Self defence IS the answer!! Yeah I took hell in school too. And only
when I started standing up to them did it stop! No I never actually
had a fight but came VERY close!
But that is how to deal with it.
Steamy
********************************************
RE: *Nys: have to stop the bully.
I see your point of view. However, I'd say that it'd be best for him not to
start any violence. This of course could be quite challenging for him. (Him
defending himself, in a specific situation where he is being attacked by the
bullies again, is a whole different ballgame though.) I'd say that he has
run into a bit of bad luck and it's up to him to turn the bullying situation
into one which advertises the fact that he is not a small boy (who has a
special condition) who is to be messed around with. If he were to understand
somehow the importance of getting bigger people firmly on his side (one
example would be the authority figures at the school, and it begins with the
bus driver who apparently cannot control his own bus), it'd be good. But I
don't know how to communicate such a thing a child. But I don't believe that
Mommy or Poppy should come into the situation at an early stage. First let
him complain seriously (not just a little) to the responsible adults to get
something done about the bullies. I remember this saying 'The pen is
mightier than the sword.'
****************************
Children can be taught some self defense martial arts like judo or
tai chi to help them put off bullies without drawing blood.
But I agree, the bus driver has the means to control the behaviors of
children in the bus.
Ann-on-y-mouse in Columbus
******************************
Re: *Nys: have to stop the bully.
The comment about marshall arts was a good suggestion. This could boost
Gage's confidence no end and maybe stop him from allowing other kids to push
him
around.
Your story has brought tears to my eyes as I'm sure it has for everyone else
reading it. I do think it shows what a lovely boy you have that he didn't
want to fight back. I hope the school stick with you both and make sure it
doesn't happen again.
Best wishes,
Lisa
from the UK
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Re: *Nys: have to stop the bully.
Stephanie, When Zack was in 3rd grade he had a similar thing happen. His bully
was running up to Zack and taking his glasses which really blinded Zack outside.
(Zack has albinism and is extremely light sensitive) I call the principal and
nothing was done to stop it. My middle son also has recess at the same time and
so I asked him to stay with Zack at recess and if that boy took Zack's glasses
again he was to get the glasses and the boy and bring him back to Zack. Keep in
mind that Zack's younger brother is bigger than him) so the next day the boy
took Zack's glasses and Brandon grabbed him and took Zack's glasses of the boy
and gave them to Zack. The boy then began to tease Zack about his baby brother
fighting his battles and just then Zack punched the brat right in the nose.
Zack then told him that he did not need his brother to fight his battles but he
needed his glasses to be able to see to hit the kid in his nose. I received a
phone call and had to go to the
school. I proudly walked into the school knowing exactly why I was there. The
principal told me that my boys were being expelled for fighting and I told told
her that they would not have had to fight had she done her job. I told her that
I was in on the fact that this boy was a trouble maker and he bullied everyone
not just Zack. I then looked at Zack and Brandon and told them that I had
brought their ski's and we were heading to the ski hill. Immediately the
principal changed her tune and Zack and Brandon were no longer in trouble and
the bully was in the office. The next week when the bully was allowed back to
school he followed Zack and Brandon home and picked a fight with Zack again.
Zack punched him right in the nose and blackened both the boys eyes, the boy got
up and thought that he would start in on Brandon who knocked the wind out of
him. A few hours later the boys parents called me to find out what happened to
their little boy and I told them exactly what
happened and of course they knew I was right when I told them that their child
started it and my visually impaired son finished it. LOL
Some kids are just bullies and if it isn't our children that they are picking
on it is someone else. At times it is necessary for our children to stand their
ground, sometimes they need to know when to walk away. It is a hard decision
but safety is the key.
Sheri
***************
Re: RE: *Nys: Re: have to stop the bully.
Sadly, first graders are not too young to bully. It is the parents and the
schools that create the culture that condones even promotes bullying.
www.thegraycenter.org has several good resources for schools and children
including How to Respond to a Bullying Attempt. Geared towards children with
autism and Asperger's, it can help all kids. No matter how normal, everyone
gets picked on about something, especially if the culture is set up that way.
You can prepare your child and help develop an environment where differences are
better accepted.
good luck,
brenda
******************
I am not very physical, but what scared people away from me for the
most part is the fact that I am a bit of a Dr. Jekyl/Mr. Hyde. I am
at least calm most of the time, etc, but when I snap it scares people
because I am all kinds of verbally abusive.
A negligence suit(or the threat of one, but make sure you follow
through with it if necessary) will often make a difference. I nearly
drowned in the school/Parks&Rec pool(I have most of the files from the
suit including pictures of the setup around the poool and audio
interviews describing what a safety problem it was). Shortly after
the suit was settled, the swimming coach left(I'm pretty sure I know
why) and lots of money was invest in saftey improvements.
*****************
tinatache spune:
sanziana, calm down, stiu ca adevarul doare Nu am cautat in arhive, sub. era la "active", am spus ca am dat intamplator peste el. Dar ce mai conteaza, "ai dreptate, draga mea" (am incheiat citatul).
Cristina
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http://www.sos-satelecopiilor.ro/
simali spune:
Cristina, exact ce banuiam si eu. E lumea plina de nebune.
Nu inseamna ca unii nu gasesc comunitati si locuri bune si prietenoase pentru copiii lor (in Romania, Pakistan, SUA, Malaezia, etc.). Dar sunt si multi altii care nu le gasesc.
alice
ruxij spune:
Sunt bullies peste tot. Dar nu asta e atmosfera generala, aici in gradinite chiar se descurajeaza violenta, in vreme ce in copilaria mea, inca odata, era clar ca aceasta nu e descurajata. Diferenta de mentalitate exista si e vizibila, nu poate fi negata.
Mi se pare destul de josnic modul in care a fost atacata Sanziana si s-au folosit problemele ei si ale copilului ei, inerente la venirea intr-o tara noua, cand copilul nu vorbeste o boaba engleza, intr-o discutie in contradictoriu. Problemele Sanzianei de atunci le-am trait si noi si nu au absolut nici o relevanta pentru discutia de fatza. Aducerea lor in plin plan e de o insensibilitate crasa.
Si noi am avut exact aceleasi probleme ca Sanziana cu Bogdan al nostru, cand el, la 4 ani, a intrat la gradinita fara a sti o boaba engleza. La fel educatoarele il tot reclamau, ca face asta, ca face aia, ca nu asculta. De batut copii nu batea, dar cica nu asculta. Pai ce sa asculte nene daca nu intelege? Copilul sanzianei a aruncat cu scaunul, al meu a aruncat cu geaca in educatoare, din frustrare. De aceleasi lucruri m-am plans si nu mi-ar placea deloc sa vina cineva si sa imi rastalmaceasca necazul real de atunci si sa il foloseasca in discutie in lipsa de argumente.
Dealtfel opiniile se mai schimba. Eu eram pentru riposta inainte si acum nu mai sunt, am inteles cateva lucruri in plus. Daca, desi postul ala nu o arata, sanziana a fost pentru riposta atunci, mi se pare normal ca dupa ce a trait mai mult in societatea de aici, ba a devenit si educatoare, sa inteleaga mai multe lucruri si sa isi schimbe parerea. Sa o tii pe a ta la nesfarsit nu mi se pare o calitate.