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Ira spune:

Doamnelor, dati-mi, va rog frumos, un sfat, ca eu sunt depasita de situatie.

Sofia mea vrea sa doarma numai cu noi in pat. In fiecare seara trecem prin negocieri, discutii, promisiuni, nervi, plansete, pupici de impacare, dureri si suflete ravasite. Pana la urma..... suspinand catre camera ei roz, in patutul de printese roz....se indreapta un sufletel mic cu inima neagra de suparare.

Aseara, bunaoara, ma intreba cu lacrimi in ochi : - Mami, stiu ca asa trebuie, ca eu sa dorm singura in patutul meu, dar tu de ce dormi cu taticul meu, est-ce que c'est juste ? ...si imi arunca o privire din aceea de disperare de-mi vine sa mor de tristete. Noi am mai lasat-o sa doarma cu noi, cand e bolnava, de sarbatori, aniversari, evenimente speciale. Cea mai mare fericire (si pentru noi, recunosc) este si liniste o avem in casa cand ne pitim toti 3 in acelasi pat. Si da, ne place amandurora s-o avem langa noi, avem acel sentiment de plenitudine si de siguranta atunci cand se afla la cativa cm de noi. Dar pe de alta parte...ea trebuie sa-si creeze conditia ei de persoana autonoma si independenta. Nu mai stim ce sa facem, ce argumente sa-i aducem. Ne depaseste pur si simplu.

Dimineata, invariabil, ne trezim cu ea in pat. Se strecoara noapte pe furis. Dar nu o certam, o iubim mult si-i spunem doar ca ne-ar place ca data viitoare am fi mandri de ea daca am gasi-o dimineata la ea in pat.

Voi ati trecut prin asa ceva ?

Cricor spune:

Da Ira, noi si al meu are 5 ani. El se culca la el in pat (dar cu unul dintre noi langa patul lui) si la 3 noaptea, invariabil, venea la noi, si ne zicea ca acolo (la noi in pat) doarme el cel mai bine. De vreo 3 saptamani il lasam sa adoarma singur (prima saptamana cu plansete si mii de intrebari dupa nenumarate povesti citite), iar cand vine noaptea la noi il ducem inapoi. In ultima saptamana nu mai vine, dar ma cheama pe mine (si numai pe mine) cu diverse motive (ca vrea lumina, ca nu mai poate sa dorma, ca-i e sete, foame, ca burtica a facut nu stiu ce zgomot, ca sa-i dau jos de pe pereti ceva) si inainte sa plec imi zice sa nu ma duc cu tata in pat sa ma duc in camera la bunica sa dorm acolo (avem un dormitor liber unde doarme mama cand vine la noi).
Era o discutie pe tema asta la cabinetul psi si acolo ziceau ca e intr-un fel incercarea lor de a tine unul din parinti (de obicei cel de sex opus) legat de el, un fel de tentativa (subconstienta) de a "rupe cuplul" . Nu stiu, poate. Mie mi se pare ca in ultima vreme, de cand adoarme singur (intre suspine si intreabari) s-a mai detasat un pic de noi. De asemenea cu cat sunt eu mai categorica in miezul noptii, cu atat scade si el pretentiile si nr. intrebarilor.

Sofia adoarmea singura, sau stati voi langa ea pana adoarme?

Corina

lorelaim spune:

lorelaim spune:

Oops - scuze - adresa catre care a fost trimis in prealabil mesajul de mai sus nu trebuia sa apara :-)
Ehhh - Traian (prieten de fam) a luat interviul cu BRIO asa ca din pacate se vor muta in Elvetia :-)
In alta ordine de idei - Corina uite aici inca ceva:Tell me something about yourself !
TRAPS: Beware, about 80% of all interviews begin with this “innocent”
question. Many candidates, unprepared for the question, skewer themselves by rambling, recapping their life story, delving into ancient work history or personal matters.
BEST ANSWER: Start with the present and tell why you are well qualified for the position. Remember that the key to all successful interviewing is to match your qualifications to what the interviewer is looking for. In other words you must sell what the buyer is buying. This is the single most important strategy in job hunting.
What are your greatest strengths?
BEST ANSWER: You know that your key strategy is to first uncover your
interviewer's greatest wants and needs before you answer questions. And from Question 1, you know how to do this.
Prior to any interview, you should have a list mentally prepared of your greatest strengths. You should also have, a specific example or two, which illustrates each strength, an example chosen from your most recent and most impressive achievements.
1. A proven track record as an achiever...especially if your
achievements match up with the employer's greatest wants and needs.
2. Intelligence...management "savvy".
3. Honesty...integrity...a decent human being.
4. Good fit with corporate culture...someone to feel comfortable
with...a team player who meshes well with interviewer's team.
5. Likeability...positive attitude...sense of humor.
6. Good communication skills.
7. Dedication...willingness to walk the extra mile to achieve
excellence.
8. Definiteness of purpose...clear goals.
9. Enthusiasm...high level of motivation.
10. Confident...healthy...a leader.
Question 3 What are your greatest weaknesses?
TRAPS: Beware - this is an eliminator question, designed to shorten the candidate list. Any admission of a weakness or fault will earn you an “A” for honesty, but an “F” for the interview.
BEST ANSWER: (and another reason it's so important to get a thorough
description of your interviewer's needs before you answer questions): Assure the interviewer that you can think of nothing that would stand in the way of your performing in this position with excellence. Then, quickly review you strongest qualifications.
Example: “Nobody's perfect, but based on what you've told me about this position, I believe I' d make an outstanding match. I know that when I hire people, I look for two things most of all. Do they have the qualifications to do the job well, and the motivation to do it well? Everything in my background shows I have both the qualifications and a strong desire to achieve excellence in whatever I take on. So I can say in all honesty that I see nothing that would cause you even a small concern about my ability or my strong desire to perform this job with excellence.”
Alternate strategy (if you don't yet know enough about the position to talk about such a perfect fit):
Instead of confessing a weakness, describe what you like most and like
least, making sure that what you like most matches up with the most
important qualification for success in the position, and what you like least is not essential.
Example: Let's say you're applying for a teaching position. “If given a choice, I like to spend as much time as possible in front of my prospects selling, as opposed to shuffling paperwork back at the office. Of course, I long ago learned the importance of filing paperwork properly, and I do it conscientiously. But what I really love to do is sell (if your interviewer were a sales manager, this should be music to his ears.)
Question 4 Tell me about something you did – or failed to do – that you now feel a little ashamed of.
TRAPS: There are some questions your interviewer has no business asking, and this is one. But while you may feel like answering, “none of your business,” naturally you can’t. Some interviewers ask this question on the chance you admit to something, but if not, at least they’ll see how you think on your feet.
Some unprepared candidates, flustered by this question, unburden themselves of guilt from their personal life or career, perhaps expressing regrets regarding a parent, spouse, child, etc. All such answers can be disastrous.
BEST ANSWER: As with faults and weaknesses, never confess a regret. But don’t seem as if you’re stonewalling either.
Best strategy: Say you harbor no regrets, then add a principle or habit you practice regularly for healthy human relations.
Example: Pause for reflection, as if the question never occurred to you.
Then say, “You know, I really can’t think of anything.” (Pause again, then add): “I would add that as a general management principle, I’ve found that the best way to avoid regrets is to avoid causing them in the first place. I practice one habit that helps me a great deal in this regard. At the end of each day, I mentally review the day’s events and conversations to take a second look at the people and developments I’m involved with and do a doublecheck of what they’re likely to be feeling. Sometimes I’ll see things that do need more follow-up, whether a pat on the back, or maybe a five minute chat in someone’s office to make sure we’re clear on things… whatever.”
Question 5 Why are you leaving (or did you leave) this position?
TRAPS: Never badmouth your previous industry, company, board, boss, staff, employees or customers. This rule is inviolable: never be negative. Any mud you hurl will only soil your suit.
Especially avoid words like “personality clash”, “didn’t get along”, or others which cast a shadow on your competence, integrity, or temperament.
BEST ANSWER:(If you have a job presently)
If you’re not yet 100% committed to leaving your present post, don’t be afraid to say so. Since you have a job, you are in a stronger position than someone who does not. But don’t be coy either. State honestly what you’d be hoping to find in a new spot. Of course, as stated often before, you answer will all the stronger if you have already uncovered what this position is all about and you match your desires to it.
(If you do not presently have a job.)
Never lie about having been fired. It’s unethical – and too easily checked. But do try to deflect the reason from you personally. If your firing was the result of a takeover, merger, division wide layoff, etc., so much the better.
But you should also do something totally unnatural that will demonstrate consummate professionalism. Even if it hurts , describe your own firing – candidly, succinctly and without a trace of bitterness – from the company’s point-of-view, indicating that you could understand why it happened and you might have made the same decision yourself.
Your stature will rise immensely and, most important of all, you will show you are healed from the wounds inflicted by the firing. You will enhance your image as first-class management material and stand head and shoulders above the legions of firing victims who, at the slightest provocation, zip open their shirts to expose their battle scars and decry the unfairness of it all.
For all prior positions:Make sure you’ve prepared a brief reason for leaving. Best reasons: more money, opportunity, responsibility or growth.
Question 7 Why should I hire you?
TRAPS: Believe it or not, this is a killer question because so many
candidates are unprepared for it. If you stammer or adlib you’ve blown it.
BEST ANSWER: By now you can see how critical it is to apply the overall strategy of uncovering the employer’s needs before you answer questions. If you know the employer’s greatest needs and desires, this question will give you a big leg up over other candidates because you will give him better reasons for hiring you than anyone else is likely to…reasons tied directly to his needs.
Whether your interviewer asks you this question explicitly or not, this is the most important question of your interview because he must answer this question favorably in is own mind before you will be hired. So help him out! Walk through each of the position’s requirements as you understand them, and follow each with a reason why you meet that requirement so well.
Example: “As I understand your needs, you are first and foremost looking for someone who can manage the sales and marketing of your book publishing division. As you’ve said you need someone with a strong background in trade book sales. This is where I’ve spent almost all of my career, so I’ve chalked up 18 years of experience exactly in this area. I believe that I know the right contacts, methods, principles, and successful management techniques as well as any person can in our industry.”
“You also need someone who can expand your book distribution channels. In my prior post, my innovative promotional ideas doubled, then tripled, the number of outlets selling our books. I’m confident I can do the same for you.”
Question 9 Where do you see yourself five years from now?
TRAPS: One reason interviewers ask this question is to see if you’re
settling for this position, using it merely as a stopover until something better comes along. Or they could be trying to gauge your level of ambition.
If you’re too specific, i.e., naming the promotions you someday hope to win, you’ll sound presumptuous. If you’re too vague, you’ll seem rudderless.
BEST ANSWER: Reassure your interviewer that you’re looking to make a long-term commitment…that this position entails exactly what you’re looking to do and what you do extremely well. As for your future, you believe that if you perform each job at hand with excellence, future opportunities will take care of themselves.
Example: “I am definitely interested in making a long-term commitment to my next position. Judging by what you’ve told me about this position, it’s exactly what I’m looking for and what I am very well qualified to do. In terms of my future career path, I’m confident that if I do my work with excellence, opportunities will inevitable open up for me. It’s always been that way in my career, and I’m confident I’ll have similar opportunities here.”
Question 10 Describe your ideal company, location and job.
TRAPS: This is often asked by an experienced interviewer who thinks you may be overqualified, but knows better than to show his hand by posing his objection directly. So he’ll use this question instead, which often gets a candidate to reveal that, indeed, he or she is looking for something other than the position at hand.
BEST ANSWER: The only right answer is to describe what this company is offering, being sure to make your answer believable with specific reasons, stated with sincerity, why each quality represented by this opportunity is attractive to you.
Remember that if you’re coming from a company that’s the leader in its field or from a glamorous or much admired company, industry, city or position, your interviewer and his company may well have an “Avis” complex. That is, they may feel a bit defensive about being “second best” to the place you’re coming from, worried that you may consider them bush league. This anxiety could well be there even though you’ve done nothing to inspire it. You must go out of your way to assuage such anxiety, even if it’s not expressed, by putting their virtues high on the list of exactly what you’re looking for, providing credible reason for wanting these qualities.
If you do not express genuine enthusiasm for the firm, its culture,
location, industry, etc., you may fail to answer this “Avis” complex
objection and, as a result, leave the interviewer suspecting that a hot shot like you, coming from a Fortune 500 company in New York, just wouldn’t be happy at an unknown manufacturer based in Topeka, Kansas.
Question 11 Why do you want to work at our company?
TRAPS: This question tests whether you’ve done any homework about the firm. If you haven’t, you lose. If you have, you win big.
BEST ANSWER: This question is your opportunity to hit the ball out of the park, thanks to the in-depth research you should do before any interview.
Best sources for researching your target company: annual reports, the
corporate newsletter, contacts you know at the company or its suppliers, advertisements, articles about the company in the trade press.
Question 16 Tell me about a situation when your work was criticized.
TRAPS: This is a tough question because it’s a more clever and subtle way to get you to admit to a weakness. You can’t dodge it by pretending you’ve never been criticized. Everybody has been. Yet it can be quite damaging to start admitting potential faults and failures that you’d just as soon leave buried.
This question is also intended to probe how well you accept criticism and direction.
BEST ANSWERS: Begin by emphasizing the extremely positive feedback you’ve gotten throughout your career and (if it’s true) that your performance reviews have been uniformly excellent.
Of course, no one is perfect and you always welcome suggestions on how to improve your performance. Then, give an example of a not-too-damaging learning experience from early in your career and relate the ways this lesson has since helped you. This demonstrates that you learned from the experience and the lesson is now one of the strongest breastplates in your suit of armor.
If you are pressed for a criticism from a recent position, choose something fairly trivial that in no way is essential to your successful performance.
Add that you’ve learned from this, too, and over the past several
years/months, it’s no longer an area of concern because you now make it a regular practice to…etc.
Another way to answer this question would be to describe your intention to broaden your master of an area of growing importance in your field. For example, this might be a computer program you’ve been meaning to sit down and learn… a new management technique you’ve read about…or perhaps attending a seminar on some cutting-edge branch of your profession. Again, the key is to focus on something not essential to your brilliant performance but which adds yet another dimension to your already impressive knowledge base.

Postet at: February 27, 2006, 11:21:24 PMQuestion 23 Could you have done better in your last job?
TRAPS: This is no time for true confessions of major or even minor
problems.
BEST ANSWER: Again never be negative.
Example: “I suppose with the benefit of hindsight you can always find
things to do better, of course, but off the top of my head, I can’t think of anything of major consequence.”
(If more explanation seems necessary)
Describer a situation that didn’t suffer because of you but from external conditions beyond your control.
For example, describe the disappointment you felt with a test campaign, new product launch, merger, etc., which looked promising at first, but led to underwhelming results. “I wish we could have known at the start what we later found out (about the economy turning, the marketplace changing, etc.), but since we couldn’t, we just had to go for it. And we did learn from it…”
Question 24 Can you work under pressure?
TRAPS: An easy question, but you want to make your answer believable.
BEST ANSWER: Absolutely…(then prove it with a vivid example or two of a goal or project accomplished under severe pressure.)
Question 25 What makes you angry?
TRAPS: You don’t want to come across either as a hothead or a wimp.
BEST ANSWER: Give an answer that’s suited to both your personality and the management style of the firm. Here, the homework you’ve done about the company and its style can help in your choice of words.
Examples: If you are a reserved person and/or the corporate culture is coolly professional:
“I’m an even-tempered and positive person by nature, and I believe this helps me a great deal in keeping my department running smoothly,
harmoniously and with a genuine esprit de corps. I believe in communicating clearly what’s expected, getting people’s commitment to those goals, and then following up continuously to check progress.”
“If anyone or anything is going off track, I want to know about it early. If, after that kind of open communication and follow up, someone isn’t getting the job done, I’ll want to know why. If there’s no good reason, then I’ll get impatient and angry…and take appropriate steps from there.
But if you hire good people, motivate them to strive for excellence and then follow up constantly, it almost never gets to that state.”
If you are feisty by nature and/or the position calls for a tough straw boss.
“You know what makes me angry? People who (the fill in the blanks with the most objectionable traits for this type of position)…people who don’t pull their own weight, who are negative, people who lie…etc.”
Question 26 Why aren’t you earning more money at this stage of your career?
TRAPS: You don’t want to give the impression that money is not important to you, yet you want to explain why your salary may be a little below industry standards.
BEST ANSWER: You like to make money, but other factors are even more important.
Question 33 How do you feel about working nights and weekends?
TRAPS: Blurt out “no way, Jose” and you can kiss the job offer goodbye. But what if you have a family and want to work a reasonably normal schedule? Is there a way to get both the job and the schedule you want?
BEST ANSWER: First, if you’re a confirmed workaholic, this question is a softball lob. Whack it out of the park on the first swing by saying this kind of schedule is just your style. Add that your family understands it. Indeed, they’re happy for you, as they know you get your greatest satisfaction from your work.
If however, you prefer a more balanced lifestyle, answer this question with another: “What’s the norm for your best people here?”
If the hours still sound unrealistic for you, ask, “Do you have any top people who perform exceptionally for you, but who also have families and like to get home in time to see them at night?” Chances are this company does, and this associates you with this other “top-performers-who-leave-not-later-than-six” group.
Depending on the answer, be honest about how you would fit into the picture. If all those extra hours make you uncomfortable, say so, but phrase your response positively.
Example: “I love my work and do it exceptionally well. I think the results speak for themselves, especially in …(mention your two or three qualifications of greater interest to the employer. Remember, this is what he wants most, not a workaholic with weak credentials). Not only would I bring these qualities, but I’ve built my whole career on working not just hard, but smart. I think you’ll find me one of the most productive people here.
I do have a family who likes to see me after work and on weekends. They add balance and richness to my life, which in turn helps me be happy and productive at work. If I could handle some of the extra work at home in the evenings or on weekends, that would be ideal. You’d be getting a person of exceptional productivity who meets your needs with strong credentials. And I’d be able to handle some of the heavy workload at home where I can be under the same roof as my family. Everybody would win.”
Question 38 What would you say to your boss if he’s crazy about an idea, but you think it stinks?
TRAPS: This is another question that pits two values, in this case loyalty and honesty, against one another.
BEST ANSWER: Remember the rule stated earlier: In any conflict between values, always choose integrity.
Example: I believe that when evaluating anything, it’s important to emphasize the positive. What do I like about this idea?”
“Then, if you have reservations, I certainly want to point them out, as specifically, objectively and factually as I can.”
“After all, the most important thing I owe my boss is honesty. If he can’t count on me for that, then everything else I may do or say could be questionable in his eyes.”
“But I also want to express my thoughts in a constructive way. So my goal in this case would be to see if my boss and I could make his idea even stronger and more appealing, so that it effectively overcomes any initial reservation I or others may have about it.”
“Of course, if he overrules me and says, ‘no, let’s do it my way,’ then I owe him my full and enthusiastic support to make it work as best it can.”
Question 41 You’ve been with your firm a long time. Won’t it be hard switching to a new company?
TRAPS: Your interviewer is worried that this old dog will find it hard to learn new tricks.
BEST ANSWER: To overcome this objection, you must point to the many ways you have grown and adapted to changing conditions at your present firm. It has not been a static situation. Highlight the different responsibilities you’ve held, the wide array of new situations you’ve faced and conquered.
As a result, you’ve learned to adapt quickly to whatever is thrown at you, and you thrive on the stimulation of new challenges.
To further assure the interviewer, describe the similarities between the new position and your prior one. Explain that you should be quite comfortable working there, since their needs and your skills make a perfect match.
Question 45 What do you worry about?
TRAPS: Admit to worrying and you could sound like a loser. Saying you never worry doesn’t sound credible.
BEST ANSWER: Redefine the word ‘worry’ so that it does not reflect negatively on you.
Example: “I wouldn’t call it worry, but I am a strongly goal-oriented person. So I keep turning over in my mind anything that seems to be keeping me from achieving those goals, until I find a solution. That’s part of my tenacity, I suppose!

Cricor spune:

Lorelai, eu nu-mi caut de lucru (inca ).

Mersi oricum, mai imi improspatez si eu cunostintele (recunosc cu rusine ca nu stiu cu cati "i" se scrie cuvantul asta, cred ca 2 nu?), ca dupa sedinta de-am avut-o nu cred ca-i o idee rea sa m-apuc sa prospectez piata.

Sau mai e vreo Corina si eu in ignoranta mea nu stiu?

Corina

Emilly spune:

Cred ca mie imi era adresat raspunsul, Lorelai merci! eu insa sunt asistenta medicala si postul e la o rezidenta de batrinei, sa le zic la puncte slabe ce scrie la punctul 3 nu cred ca merge...sunt in ceata rau...mai cuget.

lorelaim spune:

Corina/Cicor - mii de scuze - nu stiu de ce (cred ca in graba mare) am ramas cu impresia ca tu intrebai despre raspunsuri la interviuri :-)
Emilly - eu de obicei sfatuiesc candidatii sa fie "evazivi" (adica sa nu care cumva sa spuna: "eu nu sunt perfect biling" - de ex... ca nu stii de fapt ce vrea cel care te intervieveaza si... din prea multa sinceritate poti pierde job-ul) la aceasta intrebare...
Adica, cred ca in general ar putea merge ceva de genul: "Hmmm - interesanta intrebare... si eu mi-am pus-o adesea... Adevarul-adevarat este ca trebuie sa cautam permanent sa ne perfectionam atat pe plan profesional (aici poti mentiona niste cursuri care se leaga cu job-ul pe care vrei sa-l obti) cat si pe plan personal (aici n-ar fii rau sa poti mentiona niste carti/articole pe care le-ai citit care sa arate interesul tau spre comunicare, integrare, cum sa fii/devi mai adaptabil, mai flexibil si mai diplomat in viata in general). Sunt deosebit de deschis criticilor constructive si dilaogurile inter-colegiale. Consider ca in acest fel avem numai-si-numai de invatat unii de la ceilalti si vom forma o echipa unita."...
Dupa care incepi s-o dai pe "aratura" vorbind cat de impresionata ai fost de ceea ce ai citi/auzit despe viitorul tau loc de munca... etc... Stii tu - bla-bla-bla... dai cu periuta.
Multa bafta si daca pot sa te ajut cu alte sfaturi - te rog frumos nu ezita sa ma intrebi,
Lorelai

Emilly spune:

Lorelai multumesc mult! ma ajuta mult rindurile tale, macar imi fac nitel temele inainte de interviu, cel putin incerc...

Pai si daca se vede clar ca nu sunt perfect bilingva sa nu zic la puncte slabe, asa-i? Am avut o simulare de interviu la scoala si multi colegi i-a zis tipei alea ca si punct slab faptul ca nu vorbea corect franceza dar ca invata si se corecteaza zilnic.
Alt coleg a zis ca ar fi tare minutios si ca pierde timp mult si e mereu in urma cu lucru dar ca incearca sa se corecteze.Faptul ca era minutios cica ar fi o calitate.
Ma mai gindesc si te mai intreb, merci mult!

Cricor spune:

Emilly, eu la puncte slabe zic mereu ca sunt "picky", ceea ce in meseria mea e de bine. Dupa ce zic ca sunt picky ma lansez intr-o intreaga istorie cu e bine pentru lucrul cu computerul, dar cateodata in lucrul cu oamenii nu e grozav. Oricum orice angajator isi doreste unul picky pe meseria mea. Mai zic uneori cu engleza, dar asta doar pentru ca stiu ca vorbesc relativ bine, insa cu accent destul de puternic si atunci e usor in ceata ce anume nu e bine, poate sa inteleaga ca sunt perfectionista si as vrea sa-mi schimb accentul (lucru care nu ma preocupa deloc dealtfel).

Corina