pilula de ras...-zilnica
Raspunsuri - Pagina 2
dante01 spune:
miez adanc de noapte in .ro...
timpul pt hapul de ras...
A blonde's house was on fire...
She called 911 and started screaming, "Help me, please! My house is burning! Hurry!"
The operator said, "Okay, calm down and we'll be there soon. How do we get to your house?"
The blonde answered, "Duh, in that big red truck!"
www.google.com/intl/xx-hacker/" target="_blank">asa cata un hacker pe google
One day, a diver was enjoying the aquatic world 20 feet below sea level. He noticed a guy at the same depth he was, with no scuba gear on whatsoever.
The diver went below another 10 feet, but the guy joined him a minute later. The diver went below 15 more feet, a minute later, the same guy joined him.
This confused the diver, so he took out a waterproof chalkboard, and wrote, "How the heck are you able to stay under this deep without equipment?"
The guy took the board and chalk, erased what the diver had written, and wrote, "I'm drowning, you moron!"
mai, folosesc ceva hapurili astea?
ca de citit vad ca cititi, rade cineva sau eu scriu aici de tembel?...
www.desprecopii.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=69040" target="_blank">d'ale calculatorului
...Libertatea unui individ se opreste acolo unde incepe libertarea unui alt individ...
Siminaf spune:
Dante, scrie, scrie, ca asa-mi mai descretesc si eu fruncea! Ba le-am mai zis si pe la altii! Sint bes-ti-a-le!!! 
Simina & Andrei (Deiutzu) & Raluca
Virsta bebe2
Virsta Deiu
Home, wherever you are...
Excursie la Lake Arrowhead
Laguna Beach
Beach Cities
Noi 3, cu Raluca in burtica
adrienne12 spune:
m-am timpit de ris de macroul dezmatat! si la aia cu hackerul pe google :-) you made my day
dante01 spune:
bou ce sunt...
www.desprecopii.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=69040" target="_blank">d'ale calculatorului
...Libertatea unui individ se opreste acolo unde incepe libertarea unui alt individ...
dante01 spune:
maine e luni, cea mai grea zi a sptamanii...
revin asadar, cu o mostra de umor englezesc sau nu...
A funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed away. At the end of the service, the pall bearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket. They hear a faint moan! They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive!
She lives for ten more years, and then dies. Once again, a ceremony is held, and at the end of it, the pall bearers are again carrying out the casket. As they carry the casket towards the door, the husband cries out: "Watch that fu*king wall!"
www.desprecopii.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=69040" target="_blank">d'ale calculatorului
...Libertatea unui individ se opreste acolo unde incepe libertarea unui alt individ...
NicoletaB spune:
Se duce una la doctor sa isi faca niste analize. Si nu a avut timp sa se duca sa si le ia. Si il trimite pe barbatu-su.
Se duce asta ii spune doctorului si el il intreaba:
- Cum o cheama pe sotia dumneavoastra?
- Elena Popescu
Se uita asta si erau doua cu acelasi nume. Una bolnava de diabet si alta de SIDA. Cum sa faca? Ce sa-i spuna?
S-a gindit un pic si i-a spus
- Du-te acasa, ia doua ciocolate mari si da-i-le sa le manance. Daca nu moare, sa nu cumva s-o f*ti!
NicoletaB spune:
Se trezeste Ion de dimineata ca avea de crapat lemne. No, si se apuca Ion de crapat, cānd īl vede pe Gheorghe la poarta:
- 'neata, Gheorghe!
- 'neata, Ioane!
- Ce faci ma, Gheo? Nu vii sa ma ajuti la lemne?
- Nu pot ma Ioane ca īs beteag rau...
- No, tulai Doamne, da' ce ai ma Gheo?
- Boala gre' ma Ioane!
- Da' ce boala ai ma?
- Boala venerica...
- Ioi, ma... da' cum īi boala asta, ma?
- Pa' stii tu ma Gheo... ma doare'n pix de lemnele tale!
dante01 spune:
One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike, "My elbow hurts like crazy. I guess I better see a doctor."
"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars... a lot cheaper than a doctor."
So Joe puts a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart. He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.
Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:
"You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks.Thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart."
That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled.
He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure. Joe hurried back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results.
He deposited ten dollars, poured in his concoction, and awaited the results.
The computer then prints the following:
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant, Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better.
Thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart.
- Mai Ioane, de ce te-ai insurat?
- Pentru ca nu-mi placea mancarea gatita de mine.
- Si acum cum e?
- Acum imi place! 
www.desprecopii.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=69040" target="_blank">d'ale calculatorului
...Libertatea unui individ se opreste acolo unde incepe libertarea unui alt individ...
dante01 spune:
Vrei sa stii daca esti bolnav de informatica? Esti, bolnav daca:
1.Īn fiecare dimineata īti faci un backup.
2.Ultimul tau gānd īnainte de a adormi este : "Shutdown complete"
3.Cauti butonul "Cancel" dupa ce ai apasat un buton gresit la lift si te miri cāt de saraca e interfata utilizator.
4.Faci dublu click pe butonul de la lift.
5.Apesi PageDown ca sa īntorci foaia unei carti.
6.Cānd vorbesti de numere rotunde, te gāndesti la 16, 32, 64, 128, 256, 1024, 2048 ...
7.Din tren, admiri scrolling-ul peisajului.
8.La telefon, compui un numar de IP.
9.Īti amintesti cu mai mare usurinta adresa ta de e-mail, decat pe cea postala sau decat numarul de telefon.
10.Cānd īnchizi o fereastra, degetele tale se pun īn mod automat īn pozitia Alt-F4.
A man is taking a walk in Central park in New York. Suddenly he sees the little girl being attacked by a pit
bull. He runs over and starts fighting with the dog.He succeds in killing the dog and saving the girls live.
A policeman who was watching the scene walks over and says:
- You are a hero, tomorrow you can read it in all the
newspapers:
"Brave New Yorker saves a little girl's life"
- But I am not a New Yorker!
- Oh, then it will say in newspapers in the morning: "Brave American saves a little girl's life"
- But I am not an American. I am Afghan!
The next day the newspapers say: "Islamic extremist kills American dog. Connections to terrorist network are
possible."
www.desprecopii.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=69040" target="_blank">d'ale calculatorului
...Libertatea unui individ se opreste acolo unde incepe libertarea unui alt individ...
iren spune:
Super alea de azi, Dante, in loc sa mak la culcare, ca tzipa ploada miine dimi dupa mincare, io stau shi ma hlizesc la bancurile tale 
Iren dubla mamica
Bogdanelu nazdravanu 
si Julia turbo
decembrie
degetzeii
In caz de greturi si alergii la anumite persoane, se recomanda retragerea intr-un loc izolat si racoros si consumarea, in liniste, a patru- cinci lamii pe ora.