Iubitul pe primul plan, sotul...la etc!!!!

Ramonika spune:

Intr-adevar sunshine, barbatii nu gandesc rau despre alti barbati, insa judeca femeile care inseala (cred ca mai mult ca sa-si descurajeze femeile lor sa faca asa, deoarece nu au cum sa le judece pe cele cu care inseala ei, nu?...) Deci ei intre ei sunt uniti. Femeile in schimb ii judeca pe barbatii, dar si pe femeile care inseala. Deci femeile sunt blamate si judecate de ambele parti. Nu sunt “unite” intre ele, daca pot sa zic asa (nu inseamna neaparat ca femeile trebuie sa accepte aceasta). Cate femei nu spun despre amante ca “strica casa” altora, ca nu-si iubesc familia si copiii etc etc. Si au dreptate intr-o anumita masura. Spun intr-o anumita masura, pt. ca adevarul e intotdeauna pe la mijloc. Intai trebuie sa se intrebe femeia: de ce m-a inselat? Asa e de felul lui, mai „fluturash”, sau e ceva in neregula cu relatia noastra, poate chiar cu mine (sotia)? Nu mai reprezint un punct de atractie pt. el? Ce s-a schimbat in relatia noastra?
In leg. cu cazul prezentat, din cate stiu eu nu au participat colege de-ale mele la masa respectiva, asa ca nu a fost vreo femeie care sa-si dea cu parerea. Dar, sincera sa fiu, probabil ca nu ar fi spus chiar „parashuta”, insa sigur ar fi facut-o neserioasa.
Probabil ca femeile judeca amantele atat de sever pentru ca se gandesc ca ar putea si sotul lor sa faca vreo greseala de genul asta in viitor, sa se incurce cu vreuna, nu ca se vad ele insele in postura de amanta, ca daca s-ar vedea, probabil ca nu ar mai judeca asa aspru nici pe celelalte.

Ramonika spune:

Apropos de ce am scris la postul anterior, povestea cu austriacul. Poate isi dau mai multe persoane cu parerea? Intr-un astfel de caz, cand cetatenii respectivi se vad cu nevasta doar de 2-3 ori pe an si sa zicem ca sunt de felul lor mai „focosi” si au nevoie de sex, ce ar putea face? Se justifica intr-o anumita masura inselatul, doar pentru a-si satisface nevoile pe care sotia nu i le poate satisface din cauza distantei? Presupunem ca nu se poate sa-si aduca sotia langa el si nici el nu se poate muta inapoi in tara lui din cauza serviciului. Probabil ca, cu toate ca au cam peste 50 de ani, au si ei nevoi si nu le ajunge sa o faca de cateva ori pe an... Se poate trece peste dorinta fizica (chiar necesitate, i-as spune), numai de dragul sentimentelor si fidelitatii pt. sotie?

Ce credeti?
Stralucitor1, nu mai zici nimic?

CristinaT spune:

Nu toata lumea gandeste ca tine.....

quote:

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Initial creeata de stralucitor1

Chiar daca s-ar putea sa scandalizez toti familistii fidelissimi de pe forum as vrea sa pun o singura intrebare:

dar femeile nu au "alternative"...atit pe plan emotional sentimental sexual?

aici pe forum(cu una doua exceptii...) nimeni nu sufla o vorba si despre iubitii femeilor casatorite , chiar daca statisticile demonstreaza ca tradarea intre cele 2 sexe e cam fifty fifty...:)

Relax...you will live longer

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4 ani - februarie 2004
http://community.webshots.com/user/cristinat7

Kehleyr spune:

Eu nu cred ca inselatul e justificabil doar prin faptul ca esti departe de nevasta/barbat. Eu cred ca suntem cu totii niste fiinte rationale dotate cu un pic de stapanire de sine capabile sa ne stapanim instinctele. La urma urmei nu suntem animale in calduri iar de sex nu ai nevoie ca de mancare, sa fim seriosi.

Mie mi se pare ca daca vrei sa ai mai multi iubiti/iubite sau daca nu te stii capabil sa te stapanesti, atunci nu te casatoresti. Casatoria e un alt angajament si nu ar trebui asumat cu atata usurinta.

Iar cine a deschis subiectul nu mai apare pentru ca probabil e unul din cazurile acelea in care se deschide un subiect "fierbinte" doar de dragul de a vedea cum reactioneaza lumea... sau pentru un pic de barfa .

Catalin.Codrici spune:

Sunt intrutoul de acord cu Kehleyr in privinta asumarii responsabile a casatoriei.
Am auzit si eu ca 6 barbati din zece inseala partenerele in timp ce femeile 4 din zece.
problema este cine iseala mai mult barbatii sau femeile. depinde cum privim problema.
Daca o rivin cantitativ, numeric, atunci barbarii caci sunt mai numerosi 60% in comparativ cu 40%.
Daca o privim calitativ, ponderat femeile caci cele 40% inseala cu cei 60% deci mai des si cu mai multi parteneri.
Ce ziceti?

Ioana Sora spune:

Kehleyr, sunt suta la suta de acord cu tine. Daca ai chef de amanti/amante, mai bine stai in bnca ta si nu te mai casatoresti.

Catalin.Codrici, nu stiu cum e cu statisticile, dar, din ce vad in jurul meu, categoric sunt mai multi barbati care isi insala sotia, fara a li se parea ceva anormal.
Si, mai degraba, barbatii sunt cei care nu destrama familia doar de dragul unui copil.
Femeile sunt mult mai rationale - cand e vorba de a se arunca intr-o relatie extraconjugala - si, atunci cand insala ele, s-ar putea sa se ajunga mult mai repede la divort.

Catalin.Codrici spune:

Ceea ce am vrut eu sa spun este ca si femeile sunt infidele in aceeasi masura ca si barbatii, numai ca fiecare parte are un sistem de valori diferit la care raporteaza actul infidelitatii. Femeile fiind firi mai sensibile sufera mai mult in urma infidelitatii si de aceea cred eu ca problema pare mai grava atunci cand i se intampla ei.
Pe de alta parte se Ioana, spuneai ca sunt mai mluti barbati care inseala sotiile, si banuiesc ca din cauza dorintei de experinte sexuale o fac nu?
Totusi in MISA ( tantra ..), numarul femeilor este cel putin dublu decat al barbatilor, din cate am auzit(raportul fiind de 3 femei : 1 barbat).
Sincer cred ca problema este atitudinea lor in fata adulterului, permisiva pentru ei si imposibila pentru femeie.

stralucitor1 spune:

Imi cer scuze ca nu am timp sa fac traducerea integral…oricum, se intelege foarte usor si asa…J Pupici

THE OTHER HALF/ E-POLL
Infidelity Survey
Survey conducted by E-Poll
JANUARY 2003


There’s definitely cheatin’ going on!
This study shows 29% of those surveyed reported having an affair, while 40% said they’ve had an unfaithful partner. A majority (54%) think that men and women are equally likely to be unfaithful. However, 43% think men are most likely to stray, and 3% think that women are most likely to be guilty of infidelity. Most sexual activity outside a marriage or committed relationship is considered crossing the line of infidelity.
The vast majority of respondents strongly agreed that intercourse, oral sex (91% & 89% respectively), and fondling another man/woman (83%) while in a committed relationship, all cross the line of infidelity. Over half of the respondents strongly agreed that kissing another man/woman (60%) is also an act of being unfaithful. Only 41% strongly agreed that holding hands with another man/woman would qualify.
Women were significantly more likely than men to agree strongly that each of these actions qualifies as infidelity. (ie: kissing – 70% of women vs. only 51% of men.) This is also true for married respondents and those living with someone compared to those who were single, divorced or separated.
You don’t have to have physical contact to cheat. Over half of respondents strongly agree that telephone sex (58%) and cyber sex (53%) would also constitute infidelity. Again, women were much more likely to consider these actions cheating (cyber sex - 64% of women vs. 42% of men and telephone sex – 69% of women vs. 48% of men).
Femeile, iertatoare…J
In fact, fewer women said they would take their spouse/partner back if
the relationship involved a relationship over the phone or internet (40%)
compared to over half of men (average of about 54%). Those who said they have been unfaithful to a spouse/partner in the past were less likely to consider cyber sex, telephone sex, flirting, or fantasizing about sex with others to be “acts of infidelity” compared to those who said they have never been unfaithful.
De ce?
Why do they cheat? Those who admit to being unfaithful cite the
following as the top reasons for their infidelity:
Among Women:
Loneliness (22%)
To prove that they are still sexy/attractive to others (13%)
Revenge (9%)
Wanted to end my committed relationship (9%)
Among Men:
Presented with the perfect opportunity (22%)
Not getting enough sex (21%)
To prove that they are still sexy/attractive to others (9%)
Loneliness (9%)
Infidelity could be in our genes. Of those who had been unfaithful to their spouse/partner, 40% had a family history of infidelity – twice as many as those who did not have any family history (18%).
Chiar vreti sa stiti?
About one-third of respondents say they
would not want to know if their spouse/partner had a one-night stand
with someone else (33% of men & 32% of women). About one-quarter
(27% of men and 20% of women) would rather not know if their
spouse/partner had a longer-term relationship that involved sex with
someone else.
Single respondents are significantly more likely to want to know if their
partner is unfaithful (85%) compared to married people (74%).
Continui relatia?
After an infidelity, do you stay in a relationship or throw him/her
out? When asked if they would take an unfaithful spouse/partner back, 28% of the respondents said that they would not take their partner back under ANY circumstances.
66% said they would possibly take their cheating spouse/partner back, depending on circumstances. Which gender is more forgiving? Men are more likely to take back a straying lover – 69% versus 63% for women. Can you say “doormat”? 6% of the respondents would take back their unfaithful partner regardless of the circumstances. Men were more likely to take them back under this scenario.
Those who had been unfaithful to a spouse/partner in the past are more likely to say that they would consider taking back an unfaithful partner.
As mentioned earlier, 29% of the respondents have been unfaithful to a
spouse/partner. About half of these “unfaithfuls” (52%) claimed that the
affair did not end the relationship because their spouse/partner never
found out, while 29% of the relationships survived after the infidelity was
discovered. Only 19% of these infidelities resulted in the end of the relationship.
On the other hand, among those who said they had an unfaithful spouse or partner, 67% ended their relationship.

Cind il mai vrei inapoi?
the following came in as the top reasons:
If it was a relationship that didn’t involve sex (59%)
If my spouse/partner would agree to counseling afterward (51%)
If the relationship was only over the Internet (48%)
If the relationship was only over the phone (47%) Over half of the men (average of about 54%) said that they would be more likely take their spouse/partner back if the relationship involved a relationship over the phone or internet compared to only 40% of women.
Almost 60% claimed that the fact that their family/friends knew about the
infidelity would have no effect in their willingness to take their unfaithful
spouse/partner back, while 37% claimed they would be less willing.
Almost 60% claimed that if they know the other person that their
spouse/partner is having an affair with, they would be less willing to take
them back. 40% claimed this would not have any effect at all.
Interestingly, nearly one-quarter of males (23%) said that they would take
back their spouse/partner if they were unfaithful with a person of the same sex, compared to only 6% of females.

Ioana Sora spune:

Catalin, nu stiu care sunt motivele reale ale barbatilor, dar, din cate am auzit si eu, sunt mult mai superificiale decat ale femeilor. Despre MISA, nu comentez.
Stralucitor1, ai deschis topicul, dupa care m-ai omorat cu un raspuns luuunggg si plin de procente, ma dor deja ochii.

Ce voiam sa spun si am mai spus o data, statisticile sunt statistici. Poate e o coincidenta ca in jurul meu vad doar lucruri care sunt exceptia de la regula. LOL si nu ma luati in seama, ca io-s sensibila la subiectul asta. E doar parerea mea si atat.

Veve spune:

Stralucitor,chiar daca "se intelege foarte usor si asa"(?!),o sa te rog sa traduci postarea ta,sau voi fi nevoita sa o sterg(punctul 11 din regulament)
Multumesc pentru intelegere!

Irina,veve & croko
pozici