Stupid questions with the smart answer

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Stupid questions with the smart answer | Autor: reiki

> BOY : May I hold your hand?
> GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy.
>
>
>
> GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
> BOY : You love me...
>
>
>
> GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
> BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??
>
>
>
> GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.
> BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple
>
>
>
> GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
> BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??
>
>
> BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
> GIRL : How soon??
>
>
> BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!
> GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there??
>
>
>
> SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate,burning kiss?? TRACY : I
> did once. He'd forgotten to take the cigarette out of his mouth.
>
>
> MAN : You remind me of the sea.
> WOMAN : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
> MAN : NO, because you make me sick.
>
>
> WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of
> the other. HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears
> and comes out
of
> the mouth.
>
>
> MARY : John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly.What do u think,Peter?
> PETER : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.
>
> 1) Girlfriend : "...And are you sure you love me and no one else ?"
> Boyfriend : "Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday".
>
> 2) Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?"
> Pupil : "The moon". Teacher : "Why?" Pupil : "The moon gives us light
> at night when we need it but the sun
gives
> us light only in the day time when we don't need it".
>
> 3) Teacher : "What do you call a person who keeps on talking when
> people
are
> no longer interested?"
> Pupil : "A teacher".
>
> 4) Waiter : "Would you like your coffee black?"
> Customer : "What other colors do you have?"
>
> 5) My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called
> current affairs.
>
> 6) Teacher : "Sam, you talk a lot !"
> Sam : "It's a family tradition".
> Teacher : "What do you mean?"
> Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher".
> Teacher : "What about your mother?" Sam : "She's a woman".
>
>
>
> 7) Tom : "How should I convey the news to my father that I've failed?"
> David: "You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year's
> performance repeated".
>
> 8) Teacher : "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and
> stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?" Student : "Brotherly
> love".
>
>
> 9) Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before
> eating?" Sam : "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook".
>
>
> 10) Patient : "What are the chances of my recovering doctor?" Doctor :
> "One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of ten people
> die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I've treated. The
> others all died".
>
>
> 11) Teacher : " Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?" One
> Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day and
at
> the same time."
>
>
>
> 12) Teacher : " George Washington not only chopped down his father's
Cherry
> tree, but also admitted doing it.
> Now do you know why his father didn't punish him ?"
> One Student: " Because George still had the axe in is hand."